By: Maurice Johnson
“I can’t. I. Just. Can’t.”
-Too many people
Perhaps you’ve heard it before: Life is a marathon not a sprint (Phillip C. McGraw); It’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward (Sylvester Stallone - Rocky Balboa); Weeping may endure through the night but joy will come in the morning (Psalm 30:5). The common thread of each of the aforementioned sayings: endurance.
In my observations through my own experiences, as well as looking at sports, entertainment and business, I see endurance as a very important quality. I think of great people, great leaders and notice something in common: they can take a lot; a whole lot of punishment, and they continue rise up to stand. What sets “the greats” apart from others is that they embrace the suck, the uncomfortable, the mundane, and the constant, incessant challenges that are presented to them. When they lose they learn. They gain wisdom and they give it another go. I could spend this entire piece giving example after example from religious texts to quotes from people in pop culture and even to my own parents and some friends. Instead, I’ll share with you my perspective on endurance, how to cultivate it, and how it can work for you and against you.
RESIST THE URGE TO QUIT
What makes one quit? First, I will say it takes one to know one. I remember the day I decided to quit football my junior year. It was late October 1998 and I was just tired of being a practice dummy for the senior players who were set to have their last season probably for the rest of their lives. I didn’t recognize my importance in being a part in the preparation process and I wanted the glory of getting in the game and being noticed. I didn’t want to hear the bullshit about helping the team from “behind the curtain”. I worked hard in practice and I worked out quite a bit just to be able to have a meaningful part in the game that would be part of my salvation. I had a hole in my practice jersey that looked like I got shot with a 12-gauge shotgun. I got hit one day by a 6’5 tight end who dislocated my shoulder a bit and had to sit out for a few practices. All that sacrifice and no playing time. Right? I felt sorry for myself. I decided to quit and missed out on one of the biggest games of the season. Endurance there? Nope.
The following year, I felt unsettled. The real reason I quit the team was because I hated feeling like a practice dummy, but I didn’t tell the team that. Instead, I gave the coach and my teammates an excuse. And it never sat right with me. I decided to return to the team and made sure I got playing time by working harder than everyone else in pre-season.
Quitting is dropping out when you have more left within you. Quitting is saying no to your soul when its trying its hardest to get to the other side of adversity. Quitting is you tapping out not to regroup and to learn but to accept the mediocre reality that things should be easy and without any resistance. But news flash, this just in…. LIFE. IS. RESISTANCE. I have other instances when I quit and they all cost me in various ways. However, I did learn how to step up and go through it all and not shut down. I learned how to not quit but rather regroup and come back again. When I listen to the stories of the great people in my life and in history, I automatically admire the pertinacity, tenacity, fortitude and ask, “How? How are they able to do that and not crack?” What I’ve learned is that even the greats crack. They just don’t stay there and accept it. They continue on and rebuild from the fractured pieces. From that point they are able to still press on. With this in mind we also have to understand when and where quitting is acceptable.
KNOW WHEN TO QUIT
When a situation or a circumstance is not serving you in the right way, YOU WILL KNOW. Your mind will tell you. Your spirit will tell you. And eventually your body will tell you. The part that keeps you there is the misguided ego that wants to keep you safe from change. The thing about this however, is we have to be 1,000% honest with ourselves from the start. Many times, we go into something with the idea that its good and that we will be able to handle it. Next thing you know there is a red flag that pops up. An example of this could be the prospect of a new romantic relationship. Perhaps infatuation pops up. Your eyes see “perfection”. Your ears hear a symphony in that person’s voice. Your hands feel great smooth skin or solid muscle tone or whatever is the point of turn on for you. But then, you go to their home and see a total mess topped off with a giant roach on the wall and a mouse watching Maury Povich. Prior to that you see a nice neighborhood and a pretty nice car and their best clothes…. Hmmm… Somewhere in your thoughts there is something telling you to run but you just can’t get over how attractive they looked on that first day out with you. Perhaps you even bypass the fact that they called you by someone else’s name…The point here is that these instances are red flags, and it’s appropriate to quit, regroup, move forward.
COURAGE
It takes courage to endure. When the pain and discomfort starts, your very being cries for it to stop, even at the most basic level. We are told that if we do too much of something that we can break. We are told that if we don’t do enough or have enough of something we will break or die or suffer in some way or another. That messaging confuses us in ways that we may not even realize. To endure in the right way, we must gather the courage to push the envelope of suffering until it transitions from suffering to salvation. In Buddhist philosophy it is said that life is suffering and that the root of suffering is attachment. When we attach to the “feel good” or the euphoria of the novelties of this world we open ourselves up to suffering. And what is suffering exactly? A perception of pain that lasts. Suffering takes a few seconds and becomes minutes, hours, days, months, and years based upon the perception of it. Yes, it takes courage to deal with pain and suffering and while you may argue that you don’t have the courage, by virtue of still living after an experience that caused pain they have placed their bid to acquire a bit of courage by default. Endurance is not necessarily tear, frustration, and anger free. In fact, endurance is feeling all the emotions you need to feel in each moment, and still moving forward. It’s the burn in your muscles as you push through the last few reps in a set of a movement. It’s the hyperventilating that occurs when you cry thinking about the ending of a long relationship and the wasted time. It’s the regret you feel when someone passes on and you fail to tell them how you feel prior to. And while dealing with these things take courage, they also become the foundation to courage. So, in essence, if you have suffered in your life, which is guaranteed, YOU HAVE COURAGE. AND YOU CAN ENDURE.
KEEP MOVING FORWARD
The perspective of what endurance is varies from person to person as we all have various tolerances. However, one thing that I’ve learned is when you think that it’s the end and that you don’t have anything left, the surprise comes as you are still moving forward like the hands on a clock. The situation may be grim and dire as ever, but you are still in this human experience so it is not over. THAT IS ENDURANCE. So I invite you to save the tap out for when it really serves you best. When it can be done with no regrets and you can come out better on the other side.
Maurice is Co-Founder of Superhuman Soul LLC and Creator of Superhuman: The Class